Really Miracle Whip?

I just saw Miracle Whip's "pathetic attempt to re-market". Miracle Whip is not young, it's definitely not hip, and it definitely does not attract the crowd featured in their latest ad which is chock full of ridiculousness. What are you really talking about when you say "We are Miracle Whip and we will not tone it down"?

Grandmothers in Miami Beach eat Miracle Whip. What is Miracle Whip? I'm not even sure, some derivative of mayo. But what I definitely know, and everyone knows, is that no one will ever open a fridge, see a jar of Miracle Whip, and think "damn, this chick can party". What if Miracle Whip starts paying athletes and pop stars millions of dollars to feature Miracle Whip in their refrigerators? It would be an alternate universe.

Miracle Whip you should really, really get a grip.