Epic Yoga

I've recently been taking a lot of yoga. I really like it other than the spirituality and standard generic yoga music which usually consists of gongs and someone singing in a different language. it was during a yoga class that I realized there was a window for me to create my own style of yoga. I call it "Epic Yoga" it basically consists of a regular yoga class but to the soundtrack of Gladiator and other epic war movies. Maybe I'll even loop some key quotes into it. I just want the warrior pose to really make you feel like you're gonna kick ass. I think yoga could do with a little violence.

And now...

A baby penguin!

I would really like a permanent baby penguin and actually a whole menagerie of permanent baby animals just running around like in Ace Ventura but miniature

Barbara Streisand: Thug Life

Last night's film screening was Hello Dolly, which I've never seen before. The whole thing was so ridiculous and over the top that I really wish my life was like that. For instance, I've never been in a restaurant where the waiters start sword fighting for no reason. Hello Dolly is set in New York 1890. Barbara Streisand actually coined the phrase "raise the roof" in this film and she gets no credit for it. Picture this hotness in the middle of a parade in Yonkers yelling:

"When the whistles blow

And the cymbals crash

And the sparklers light the sky

I'm gonna raise the roof"



And she's iced up the whole movie and just generally looking amazing. She's the original dime piece-cute face little waist with a big behind.

Roasted Red Peppers: I surrender.

Today I am eating a vegetarian quesadilla from Jon's Bar and Grille (birthplace of Larry Fine of the Three Stooges, I learned this the hard way). Halfway through my veggie quesadilla, which is delicious, I realized that it is damn near impossible to be a vegetarian and not like roasted red peppers. I don't like peppers, I would never order anything and add peppers, I would never cook myself a pepper for any reason. I think roasted red peppers are particularly slimy. But I've given up. I rarely admit defeat. But I am officially waving the white flag of surrender to you, roasted red peppers. I'm not happy about it but it's not even worth not eating you anymore, it will inevitably happen, you will inevitably weasel your way into everything I order everywhere. Congratulations.

Don't look so smug.

Bar Ferdinand & Xochitl

So my friends from Seattle were in visiting and I decided to take them to Bar Ferdinand for dinner last week. Bar Ferdinand was awesome, everything I had was delicious. Having had a rough day before this dinner date, I had the Bebida Rosada, a pomegranate cocktail and it was awesome. Naturally like all other liquids, I drank this as fast as possible. While gesturing with my ice filled glass and exclaiming that the Patatas Bravas is the best potato dish on the planet, I lost my grip on the glass and it went flying into the air. Having been in this glass breaking restaurant situation many times before, time slowed down and I miraculously caught the glass midair. However, the ice escaped me and sprayed the waitress, my friends, and several tables nearby. I was hysterical laughing, but no one else seemed as entertained as I was. This was in the first 15 minutes of the meal, not a very elegant impression left on Bar Ferdinand.

The next day I took them to Xochitl for Happy Hour Margaritas. I have a tendency to get in involved conversations with strangers and Xochitl was no exception. Halfway through my first margarita I was coaching the stranger next to me who was about to propose to his girlfriend. Me, the bartender, and my friends all became really involved in this decision. By the end, I wasn't sure if any of us were ready for him to get engaged we were all really nervous and torn up inside. The only problem is, I'll never know how it ended.

This picture has nothing to do with any of this but I think it's really funny. If all mice dressed up, I'd probably welcome a few of them in my home to see what their personalities are like and they would be much more popular around Halloween.

Dear Philadelphia Mass Transit,

You really suck. You've screwed me out of hours of my life that I'll never get back. I will not stand for the crimes committed against me by the Philadelphia Parking Authority, SEPTA, and effing 76 in either direction. But this morning I finally won a small victory against you and your fun sucking ways. On my way to work this morning, 76 was closed FOR HOURS due to a mud slide or something equally ridiculous according to KYW traffic on the two's. (WARNING: Drivers please only listen to KYW for traffic on the two's and then immediately switch it to something else before you turn to stone from being so bored. It's a matter of public safety.) But much to Philly Mass Transit's dismay I matrix-ed out of that situation and took a secret back route that cut out all the traffic and actually got me to my destination on time. I also ran out of quarters and could only partially pay a toll and the unsuspecting toll worker didn't even notice. muahaha.

Currently the scoreboard looks like this:
Me: 1
Philly Mass Transit: Too many to count at this point

As for the other departments of mass transit, brace yourselves. It's on. And a special note for the PPA: I'll see you in court September 17, I'm never wasting another $26 on your parking ridiculousness.